by: Wm Jackson, M.Edu.
Parent, STEAM Educator and Blogger
There are many responsibilities required of fathers as they take hold of the mantle of being a
father; there are very little qualifications that are present to provide guidelines to be a good
father. There is not a tell all book, there isn’t a Dummies book for Fathers, there isn’t a
technical manual for daddies to study and there is not a state or national assessment that has
to be passed.
Ronnie Cage (Jacksonville, Florida), a noted trainer and consultant has passionately stated
on numerous occasions that fathers need mentors and training to prepare them for the rigors
and responsibilities of being a father. It is important for young fathers to be taught how to
be dads. Fatherhood is not a cultural, race or financial issue in itself, it is a responsibility
that a father makes, to be the best parent his children will need in their journey to adulthood.
Mr. Cage, stated at “Fathers Calling Fathers”, “a real man takes care of his kids.”
This care comes no matter the financial situation a father puts his children first over his
needs. Fathers cannot afford to turn their backs on any child, because the consequences are
literally life and death for children.
Since the writing of the Bible, Torah, the Quran and other religious doctrine, a father’s
responsibility has been spelled out. To provide for his family, care for his children and to
educate, nurture, council, and lead their children; the family comes before the father.
Young fathers are looking for answers to their duties and responsibilities because too
many struggle with their roles, they struggle with the mothers of their children that are
too young themselves to be mature and competent mothers and even grandmothers are
younger, still trying to look cute, glamorous and sassy trying to get their life together.
The questions of a father’s role are personal challenges that need to be talked about.
The media presents a dynamic model of fatherhood based on comedy, tragedy,
tradition and even religious conjecture. When a father abandons his family the next
generation becomes lost with no guidance, generational curses begin to manifest
themselves and attack where the head of the family use to be. The statistics of single
parent homes, growing economic poverty of children and homelessness of women
and children shows that the foundation of communication is declining, fathers and
men are not doing their jobs. Evidence is seen in schools when male children are
hurting emotionally and psychologically, they are “hard” with their actions and
surrounding themselves with a shell to shield themselves from feelings of abandonment
and neglect by the person that helped create them and is supposed to be there to raise them.
The birth of a child is becoming equivalent to the physiological and psychological
passing of a bowel movement. Too many fathers are neglecting their children and not
accepting the responsibility that once was filled with pride and accountability.
Being a father is a choice, a decision that is based more on the actions of a man than
on his verbal commitment to make a promise to help raise a child. Statistical
data shows that too many fathers are abandoning their children. The physical evidence
is seen the classrooms of schools where young children Black, White, Hispanic and other
cultures are angry at a world they are exploring to find their individual ways. The
process of discovery is complicated because there is no father to help guide, mentor,
discipline and model for them.
“Fathers Calling Fathers” meeting provided by Save Our Sons (Pastor John Guns of
St. Paul Missionary Baptist Church of Jacksonville, Florida provided a platform for
fathers of all ages and generations to share wisdom, frustrations, hopes, dreams,
successes and most importantly developing and sharing solutions for fathers that want
to be better. The time for indecision, excuses and anger directed towards society, the
entertainment industry, baby mama drama, and other challenges are excuses and
need to be stopped.
Solutions are important for the bond of a father and child, simplistically “Iron Sharpens Iron”
requiring the breaking of generational curses. During the dynamic and at times emotional
discussion of fathers even the Supt. of Duval County Public School, Dr. Vitti offered his
ideas and opinions being a father, Mayor Alvin Brown provided motivation and words of
encouragement. Solutions ranged but implementation is needed.
Fathers should learn it is OK to love and show love. Fathers need to be leaders and proactive
by taking their children with them when they can during their daily traveling. Fathers should
keep God first and understand the importance of a strong religious background based on
Biblical teaching. Fathers need to recognize their strengths and weaknesses to prepare them
for the challenges and temptations of the world. Fathers should surround themselves with
positive people, because they will influence the parent and the child and fathers need to
be willing to sacrifice for their children.
It is hoped that the next Save Our Sons event further allows young fathers to be counseled
and mentored by fathers involved with their children and the cycle stops of abandonment and
neglect. Save Our Sons is creating a paradigm shift with fathers, building men that have
role models, mentors and importantly someone to listen to the frustrations, successes and
joys being a father.
Volunteering with Save Our Sons
To volunteer for Save Our Sons call (904) 595-6105 or go to www.facebook.com/SaveOurSonsInc