First Principles

We all have a set of principles that guide our behavior, our attitude, our perspective and our goals. These are not core values, though values shape them. These are not experiences, though they open our eyes to them. And these are not our interactions with others, though those interactions color them. They are born of all these and more. They are born of our upbringing, our struggles, our pain and our triumphs. Each of us has a set of First Principles that we rely on when confronted with a decision, a choice, a dilemma or a conflict. They will make the difference between making the right choice and the wrong one. And because we rely on them so mightily, each of us should take the time to write ours down.

Reducing our principles to writing reminds us what guides us and moves us, what sustains us and uplifts us. And in writing them down, we can reflect whether they remain applicable, whether they should be supplemented with new ones or whether they have stood the test in time.

Some of us have many principles, so many there seems to be one for every occasion while others have a handful that carry them through their entire lives. These are mine:

The most important job as a father is to help my children discover their purpose in this world and empower them to chase it.

Love is sacrifice.

Our pain serves to help others manage theirs.

Each of us is an expert at something.

You can’t transform mediocrity into greatness. Instead of focusing your efforts on turning your weaknesses into something good turn your strengths into something great.

Never let anyone define you.

We can’t take credit for our gifts, talents or accomplishments.

Pride puts blinders us, hiding the truth about ourselves from us. Pride prevents honest introspection, which causes us to fall.

No one will remember what you did for yourself.

We watch too much television.

You’ll never see a U-Haul trailing a hearse.

I don’t buy our boys stuff. I invest in their passions.

If you have to do something, you burn to do it, then you were born to do it. My older son was born to conduct, my younger son was born to play jazz, and I was born to write.

Living someone else’s life is an unfulfilled life.

There are no coincidences. Each interaction with each individual, however seemingly inconsequential, has the potential to reveal to us our purpose and to reveal to them theirs.

You can’t have joy without pain, or success with failure. Both would be meaningless without the others.

Life will knock you down. You’ll never know what you’re made of until it does.

Most people care much more about themselves than they do about you. Don’t take it personally.

You need a plan for ever thing in life - your career, your family, your charity.

No one is going to etch your total life’s billable hours on your tombstone. Don’t live like they are.

Why was Mr. Rogers the last person who taught me about imagination? Imagination is crucial to leadership. Imagination needs to be fostered among adults.

Ideas are today’s currency.

Our value is intrinsic. Our stuff does not increase our value. It can only decrease it by us measuring our value by what we own. 

My boys won’t remember the things I bought them. They’ll remember the values I taught them.

Love defies science. It defies simple arithmetic. Love teaches us that one plus one equals one.

Forgiveness brings peace. Choosing not to forgive hurts us much more than the person we choose not to forgive.

Circumstances don’t dictate our station in life.  Our reactions to them do.

You don’t need a title to be a leader.